Watch The Invisible Secret to Having Great Relationships
Open, honest communication is important in a healthy relationship. But what’s more important is your ability to take responsibility for how you think and feel, and not place that responsibility onto others. When one, or both people, in a relationship place their responsibility for what they think or how they feel onto the other, it creates a victim mindset. This creates a sense of powerlessness, and helplessness that in turn creates an emotional reaction. Relying on others for how you feel will make you feel like a victim, and it is my guess that you don’t like to feel that way. Read more to find out what you can do about it right away, today.
What I’m about to show you is a powerful mindset for seeing relationships in a new way. This one mindset alone will make it easier to have and attract great relationships. The Invisible Secret to Having Great Relationships will allow you to see people the way they are instead of the way you want them to be or how you want to see them.
If you want to be more compatible in relationships, have less blaming, fighting and arguing with your partner. You’re in the right place.
One of the biggest obstacles that can get in the way in relationships is when two people both carry their baggage around and project it onto each other. Without even knowing it.
Baggage is something that we carry around, but it’s not behind us, we carry it right in front of us. We look through it, we hear through it, we communicate through it, and everything we perceive and experience comes through it. So, if it’s old outdated stuff, we’re going to get old outdated results.
I know what it feels to be in a relationship like this and it is not fun. By not recognizing, owning and taking responsibility for the”baggage” we carry around and communicate through, we make ourselves powerless and others feel powerless because they can’t solve our problems for us. This builds confusion, frustration, and anger. We experience less fun, joy, and connection. We end up blaming others for how we feel, and then rely on them, or expect them, to make us feel better. Relying on others for how we feel is a recipe for disaster because we end up giving our power away, burdening others, and there’s so much waiting involved.
Let’s go over a Breakthrough Mindset that will help turn this around. The fact is what we see in others is inside of us. You can say, “what I see in others, is really inside of me.” Take a moment and think about it and let that sink in, especially if that triggers you because you need this mindset the most. “What I see in others, is inside of me.” Here’s another mindset that you might find useful; “What I judge in others, I deny in myself.”
Let me give you a superhero way to look at this. We look up to our heroes because they have specific traits that we have learned to deny or suppress in self. The traits we like the most in others, are really in us, but we might not own them yet. Our best traits aren’t missing or gone, they are just waiting dormant inside of us.
People we look down at, the villains, have traits we’ve disowned and have also denied in self. In other words, these are the traits that we don’t own yet because we haven’t activated them. So, we project how we feel outside onto others, from what we hold onto inside. It doesn’t even occur to us that it’s us that bothers us about our partner.
In the case of abusive behavior. We need to take a look at how our own thoughts and beliefs have become abusive. Instead of expecting the abuser to change, we change our own abusive habits of mind first. Then we stop attracting and tolerating abuse from others.
It always seems easier to blame others than it is to own and face what we do to ourselves. That is until we realize how miserable we make ourselves when we do that. The best and the worst we see in others so clearly is usually what we have shut down inside of us. But we can turn it around any time, and anywhere by taking back and owning our responsibility for the good and bad traits we have inside.
- “What my partner says and does is about them.” Doesn’t that feel good?
- “What I think about my partner, good and bad, is really about me.” That’s right, these are my own thoughts that I’m reacting to. They can’t make me feel anything without my permission and co-operation.
- “What I think, say and do is about me.” Even if I think I’m talking about someone else. What I’m experiencing comes from inside of me and is all about me.
- “What bothers me about my partner is really me bothering myself about my partner.” The things that others say and do, are just things that others say and do. If it bothers you, it can only be you bothering yourself about them.
- “What my partner thinks about me, is about them.” That’s right, everyone is entitled to have their opinion. They can think anything they want, good or bad, it’s about them. Even though they might not realize it.
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